Foogos Friday: The Paste-triots

I pulled an all-nighter at work last Thursday, which was half the reason there was no Foogos Friday last week. On no sleep and an empty stomach, I made the three-hour-plus drive to Providence to see some minor league hockey (and fix that whole empty stomach thing). Then I woke up Saturday morning to a snowstorm.

Once it abated, I shoveled my parents’ driveway and was ready to head back to New York City, but I was beat. It’s now Thursday and I’m still sick, feeling weak, lost 6 lbs in the last five days, and feel an unbearable rage of tendonitis in my left foot. [Switching to sarcasm font] These are great conditions to fly out to Miami tomorrow morning to run the 10th annual Miami Marathon Sunday! /endsarcasm

Making the most of my self-imposed quarantine, I got an early jump on this week’s Foogos, fresh from Sunday night’s riveting double-header of NFL football. (How often are BOTH conference championship games that exciting? In ANY sport…)

I’ve been researching, sketching and studying the logos of the NFL playoff teams for a few weeks. (All the work I’ve put in to the Detroit Lions will pay off eventually.) Prior to the big AFC/NFC Championship Games, I narrowed my choices down to the Baltimore Ravens, New England Patriots, New York Giants and San Francisco 49ers. The following trains of thought were all formulated Saturday night, before either of the title games occurred:

Right off the bat, scratch the Ravens. For all the reasons/excuses I’ve mentioned above, I’m not going to the store to buy ingredients. Whatever I’ve got, I’ve got. And I’m sure a black, yellow, purple combination is not in my future.

I already made a Giants Foogos, but I’d like to make a better one. Still, let’s share the wealth.

So it’s between the Niners and Pats. I’m indifferent to San Fran, but I hate New England. In a way, though, the nostalgia of visiting Providence last week – I lived there for four years – hasn’t worn off yet, and to be honest, I’ve got all the colors I need to make some Patriots art.

Blue toothpaste. White toothpaste. And red toothpaste.

Okay okay. I know it’s not actually food, but when I was 17, and equally lazy (but with NO excuses as I was healthy and it was a beautiful summer day with a grocery store 3 blocks away) I ate a toothpaste sandwich because all I had was Aquafresh and Wonder Bread. Sound familiar? I got the idea from pro wrestler The Big Show (who will participate in this year’s Royal Rumble, ALSO this Sunday). From what I recall of his story, he ate toothpaste sandwiches out of poverty, not sloth.

TANGENT: On a sorta related note, check the John Cena portrait I made from Fruity Pebbles yesterday morning. This is what happens when you’re sick and stir crazy and regular crazy.

(I looked for a link to confirm the Big Show story, but instead found this Married… With Children clip. I wasn’t allowed to watch this when I was a kid, so its news to me that Al Bundy also eats toothpaste sandwiches. This would make a great season of the Real World. Me. Big Show. Al Bundy. One loaf of bread. Colgate.)

Colgate Cavity Protection makes the white star. (Shouldn’t it be Cavity PREVENTION? You’re not protecting the cavities.) Colgate Total Whitening makes the cool blue hue and Cinnamon Crest Complete rounds out the art on my bathroom sink with the red tails.

This art remained on the ledge of my bathroom sink for four whole days. That’s pretty gross.

With the Pats’ logo (Aqua)fresh in my mind, the desire to make a new Giants Foogos, and both those teams meeting in next week’s Super Bowl, I’m hoping to make a pair of logo pizzas for a party I’m attending. But that’s getting ahead of myself. First up, feel better than terrible. Then run a marathon.